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Three for Herrera, Ohtani walks 'em off, Merrill, Campbell, and Marte get extensions, Cowherd's opinions, tanking the economy, Musk skulks away, Val Kilmer, and The Holy Grail

It's Opening Day!

Big Dumper gets an extension, Jordan Montgomery gets surgery, SignalGhazi, the D.C. bar is OK with white supremacists, everything's a scam, an iPad in the river, and dem bones